How To Make A Woman Desire You More Sexually!

It's a known fact that men, on average, think of sex more often than women do. Why is that?

It's certainly not because sex is not important to a woman, or that sex doesn't feel as good to a woman as a man. With that in mind, why do we seem to be in a society where men feel they do not get enough sex from their mates?

Many men walk around in society feeling sexually deprived. Many of these men are in otherwise fulfilling relationships.

So the problem is men need to get their women to desire them sexually, more often. At least as often as needed to keep up with their sexual needs.

But how can you achieve that?

Since women do think about sex quite often, and it's just as pleasurable for them as a man, there is certainly ways to accomplish that.

What men need to realize is that women are not as visual as men. In other words, women are not just stimulated sexually by an attractive man. On the other hand, all that a man needs to get sexually aroused, is to see an attractive woman with nice legs.

Women, on the other hand, require something in addition to visual stimulation to get to that point.

But what is that magical, additional component that pushes a woman over the edge to need sex?

What you're looking for is something to push your woman over the edge so that she needs to have a sexual release just as badly as you do.

In order to create extreme sexual desire in a woman so that she wants sex right now, it takes a different method than just visual stimulation.

The the only way that a woman is going to get to the point where she has to have a sexual release, is when, and if, she receives the right kind of stimulation through foreplay. What you need to realize is that foreplay begins in the morning when you wake up. When you're kind to a woman, and treat her with respect, and put her needs before yourself, the process of foreplay begins.

I realize that some people are looking for a secret magic trick that will get women to desire them sexually, very quickly. Without going in to all of the details that other people have published concerning foreplay, there are some secrets to increase a woman's sexual desire that really work.

First of all, you have to introduce specific sexual acts that you are interested in to a woman, without being too conspicuous, or manipulating.

For instance, if you want to introduce oral sex into a conversation if you want your woman to desire to have oral sex with you, you have to put the subject of oral sex in her mind first. You don't do that by simply saying, honey, I'd like you to perform oral sex on me because I think about it a lot. Instead, engage in an intimate conversation with her about relationships. For instance, you could ask her, I hope that you don't feel I'm being too intrusive, but it's really important for me to know what you think is important regarding relationships. With that, I know that some people really enjoy oral sex and they consider it an important aspect of their sex life. With that in mind, I'd really be interested in you sharing with me how you feel about these kinds of things.

In other words, you won't blatantly come out and ask your woman to start thinking, and fantasizing, about having oral sex with you. Instead, you introduce a concept into her mind without being too intrusive. If she feels you're being too pushy, or violating her personal space, she's going to pull away from you.

You don't want that.

Instead, you want her to feel very close to you, and move closer to you as you speak more intimately with her. Ways to do this are simply by lowering your voice in speaking more softly. Perhaps you could take your woman out for a romantic evening and engage in an intimate conversation over a candlelight dinner. When you introduce sex into a conversation that's not intrusive, but makes you look more caring to her, you are introducing the thought of having sex with you automatically. The thought then is planted in her mind, and the stage is set.

From there, you could extend this conversation someplace else more private and begin to kiss your partner. Since the thought has already been introduced to her, she will definitely be thinking about sex. Whatever specific act you have in mind. The important point here is not to make her think that all you're after is fulfilling your own needs. What you need to do is make her feel more or less like the idea has spontaneously crossed her mind, or both of your minds, at the same time.

5 Ways to Get a Lover

Despite what you might think, a fast car and a gorgeous face are not the only ways to attract a member of the opposite sex. Even if you feel that you have some major flaw that keeps you from finding a mate, it’s virtually guaranteed that someone out there will find your particular package irresistible. So let’s take a look at some more inventive ways to attract a lover for Spring…

1. Get a pet

Ever seen a puppy being walked in the park? Then noticed how many people will stop to talk to the critter, stroke it, play with it and quiz the owner about it’s name? Getting a pet can be an excellent way to make new friends – and if you’d rather not have the job of looking after it, offer to walk your neighbor’s! It gives you an excellent excuse to chat to other dog-walkers, and what more romantic place to meet someone than in a park? If all else fails, you might find the pup excellent company!

2. Shake your thang

Are you the first on the dance floor when the music starts, giving Elvis a run for his money? Or are you a wallflower who ‘sits this one out’ just about every time? Just like playing ball, it’s the taking part that counts – and showing you’re willing to get up and make a fool of yourself scores more points than begging two left feet. If you’re really not confident in your booty-shaking ability, try taking a class. Latin dancing, ballroom, ballet – any kind of dance class will help you learn how good it feels to move your body. And who knows, you might just meet a partner on the floor!

3. Help someone out

Doing some charity work or fundraising is not only helping a good cause, it might just help you meet that special someone. Choose a charity that really gets you fired up – whether it’s an animal welfare, humanitarian or environmental cause, doing something you believe in will get your passion flowing, and it shows! Fundraising drives are great places to meet people, and the fact that you’re doing something worthwhile proves to potential mates just how generous, caring and big-hearted you are!

4. Play for laughs

Yes, it really is true: a sense of humor is the sexiest thing you can have. Laughing someone into bed is a tried and tested formula – but you don’t have to be a stand up comic to make it work for you. Rather than trying to hog the limelight with a long string of bad jokes, just try for a funny conversation.

Show you’re willing to laugh at yourself, and your potential partner will be impressed at your self-awareness and modesty. Gently teasing them can also be a good way to break the ice and get everyone in a friendlier mood.

5. Think outside the box

If there’s a particular person whose attention you want to catch, try surprising them with a small gift. You don’t need to blow the bank on a hundred red roses – how about a cookie with your phone number in icing?

How single women looking for men at online dating services?

The online dating services offer mind blowing experience in love and romance. Moreover, you have the right to escape from the unenviable and unpleasant moments while dating. You have enough opportunities and time to share your ideas, emotions, views and feelings with the male singles online. Moreover, these services allow you to communicate and chat with singles males with ease and simplicity. The single females can now share their ideas, feelings, views, vernacular interests and emotions. The best method for single women looking for men at online dating services to choose the perfect partner is to chat with the males online.

There are so many free dating sites available for single females which assure that the females need not spend any money to communicate and interact with the available males online. The benefits and merits offered by these free dating sites for females are the same as offered by the paid ones.

The best thing is to make an attractive and catchy profile on the dating site along with your latest photograph and you are done with it. This way you are giving the male singles to have a look at your profile and picture to start interaction with you. I must say that this is the most essential and inherent step because this will ensure that the person who is chatting with you actually know about your looks and you are not at all misguiding him in any sense. The trust and faith are highly important and you are building these things in a better way.

Most of the single women like to find the male partners who reside near by or local to them. This is one of the most basic requirements amongst the females. Thus, you must keep a watch on the males who are from your own country or state or city while browsing through the site. If you will date with international male, you will have to travel abroad to meet him personally in case your relationship moves ahead. This will be really time consuming and money wasting.

The single females have another benefit that they can refine their search. You can join specific chat rooms and groups which are related to your interests. This will prove to be advantageous in finding the males of your interests and likes. The choices are wide and countless.

In order to get more out of these dating websites you can also opt for posting of the advertisements about you including your likes and dislikes in detailed manner. Now it is on your part how well you can describe your self. In this respect too you must upload your latest picture.

It is a well known fact that simplicity is the best and most appreciated. Thus, it is advised that be true about your details. Moreover, the male who is going to be your partner will love you and like you’re the way you are and not for what you are trying to be. You must also state all the qualities that you prefer in your partner. It will prove to be like an icing on the cake.

In conclusion Single Women looking for men at Free Dating Sites is common because Free dating websites are the solution that connect you with a beautiful woman online The best way to find your life mate is to go online

Why are Asian wives too popular for men today?

Asian wives are too popular for men today because they are really sexy, pretty and skinny. The question is that how the Asian wives attract the males? You can make your decision by meeting, talking and judging them. When you will see these girls walking on the road, you will love to compliment their sleek and light figure. The males love to date the Asian females and also want to make these girls their wives because of their characteristics. The nature of these Asian girls is most attractive.

They behave in a nice manner with their husbands and are very devoted towards their relationship. They love to cook food at their own and handle house work, children and office with complete dedication and care. Moreover, Asian wives love to help and support their husbands in every work they can. She will never be apart from her husband. The Asian females respect their husbands so much that they will happily let their partners lead and guide the family. This does not mean they are not smart which is why they do not have power on their husbands. It is just that they respect their husbands.

 The loving and caring nature of the Asian ladies has been attracting males from around the world including western guys. You can simply do anything from covering up your office work to watching football match while she is preparing the dinner. She will never interrupt and will never complain. They have highly appreciable beauty, mind and behavior. They are sweet and polite in their communication. She will always try to prove her partner that she is the best for him and his family and wants to make her partner feel proud in front of others. She can do anything in order to protect and save her husband from troubles and life problems. Almost all the Asian wives have these charming and captivating characteristics.

Of course the looks of the Asian females fall under the priority section for males. These girls have appealing eyes, sleek figure, shiny black hair and beautiful faces. These are enough to attract and make the guys mad. The marriage is successful when this relationship has the value it must hold. This is the value that is given by the Asian ladies to their marriage and life partners.

They will try everything to save their marriage relationship and will never break the trust. Thus, the males love to get such a wife who is so loving and supporting. Who would not fall for a girl who is beautiful and intelligent plus respecting? You will be surprised to see the homes of Asian females. The houses are so well managed and maintained that they look nothing but heaven.

If you have an Asian wife, you have everything from a sexy partner to well manage home to delicious food. Their family oriented attitude is the best thing to compliment. Thus, there are several good qualities in the Asian females that encourage the males from around the globe to marry them and have date with them. Asian women are too popular to Western men today.

How to Flirt With Women and Make Her Convinced You Are the ONE

Flirting with women is all about having fun and making the best impression on a woman that you can make. If you want to be able to flirt with a woman and convince her that you are the “one" for her, then you have to make sure that you create chemistry with her. It's not just about running some lines on a woman and hoping that she bites. You have to consciously know what you are doing and what will make her feel like you are the guy that she cannot pass up.

Here are some flirting tips for guys that should make her feel this way about you:

1. Keep a warm and natural smile on your face.

You don't want to appear too rigid with a woman, not if you want to make her feel relaxed when she is with you. You also don't want to make it look like you are cheesin’ for no reason, either. That would be a dead give away that you think she is above you, and really no one is above anyone. You want to make her feel comfortable, but also to make the whole experience seem as natural as you can.

2. Get close to her and use kino as a means to build attraction.

When you come into close contact with a woman, you are going to already have a feeling of a close connection and chemistry with her. Most people do not allow someone that they feel no chemistry at all with get too close to them, and as long as she does not pull away, then that is a good sign for you. Now, it's time to use kino (physical touch) as a way to increase that feeling of closeness and chemistry and build it into more intense attraction with her.

3. Make her feel like it is just YOU and HER.

When you give a woman the feeling that it is just you and her, no matter how crowded the room might be, the bond it creates is pretty strong and you can easily make her feel like she is being swept off of her feet. This is a good thing. No, check it, this is a VERY good thing. You want to make her feel like in this bog old world, it's just the two of you. That is how you will make a very STRONG intimate connection with a woman.

by C. Tyler

10 Mistakes Men Make When Talking to Women

1) Not Recognizing her Safety Level

A mistake many men make when they talk to women is not recognizing a woman’s natural need to feel safe and comfortable. Since women are usually not as strong physically as men, it puts them in a more vulnerable position when it comes to dealing with strangers they meet. So naturally, they have a natural barrier or “bitch shield” that protects them from potential harm.

Many men get upset because they think “hot” women act “bitchy” around strangers. Well, try walking down the street as a 5’6″, 120 pounds girl in high heels and miniskirt with bigger men leering at you from all angles. See if you’d still want to have that small talk with every guy who approaches you.

Probably not!

So how can you make a woman feel safe when you’re talking to her for the first time? Here are a few ideas:

• Be introduced by a third party
• Dress and groom yourself well
• Be VERY good at something so that you have SOME social proof
• Have strong, confident body language
• Have good eye contact
• Be congruent with your actions
• Avoid sensitive topics
• Talk about things she’d enjoy talking about
• Let her see you interact with other women
• Be the life of the party (once again, social proof)
• Don’t have any “strange” body language or behaviour
• Approach a woman when she’s in a group first

2) Acting Like She’s a Goddess

Remember my theories on “up-dating”, “down-dating”, and “romantic respect”> Most people want to date someone who’s the “best” person they can get. (“Best” doesn’t necessarily have to be about money or looks. It can be about values, interests, and beliefs too.) So if you start treating a woman like she’s a Goddess and better than you as soon as you meet her, OF COURSE she’s not going to be very interested in you!

3) Not Being Congruent With Your Objectives

Many men make the mistake of acting incongruent when they meet a woman they like. For example, they may

approach a woman because they want to date her, but they will “pretend” all they want is to be a friend. Some guys are so great at doing this that they will lie to themselves and their friends about their true intentions. They will say they are not interested…but secretly hope that the girl will somehow start chasing after them. (This way, they won’t be any chances of rejection or embarrassment!)

My opinion is that you should search for your feelings and be honest with yourself. If you are talking to a woman because you want to get into her pants, at least be bold and admit it to yourself. Go flirt with her and let it be known through your eye contact that you find her very attractive. Don’t try to hide it. She’ll either flirt back or she won’t.

If you just want to be friends, then act like a friend. If mutual feelings start developing, then start flirting. But don’t pretend you are not interested in a woman while trying to impress her at the same time. It’s incongruent.

4) Trying To Impress Her

Trying to impress a woman is probably the worst way to get her to like you. Don’t suck up to her. Don’t tell her about how much money you make or what restaurants you go to. Don’t tell her what kind of car you drive. The only way you should impress her is by letting her observe how confident, calm, and aloof you act in every situation. If there’s actual substance to you, she’ll see it. And if she likes that substance, she will chase after it and not want to let go. Be yourself and let her come to you. If you can’t do that be being who you are, then work on yourself until you can be congruent with yourself and women will still come to you. (Most of the time, all it takes will be a few attitude adjustments. Your actions, behaviour, and body language will adjust naturally!)

5) Thinking Complaining Makes Yourself Look Better

Another mistake many men make is to think that complaining or being negative can make them seem more intelligent. But in reality, most of the time, women don’t care about the things you want to complain about, be it your boss, your car, or the economy.

6) Not Having Confident Body Language

Yes, people DO judge you by your body language. So be a man and have bold, confident body language. Take up space. Have a presence – even if you are quiet. If you need help in this area because you are uncomfortable with your body, workout at the the gym to build muscles and take some Pilates classes to have better posture. You can even take some stage acting training.

7) Not Knowing what Interests Her

A reader who works as a high-class escorts once told me that great call girls know how to spend the first 20 minutes of the “hour” just observing, asking questions, and listening to a client so that they know exactly what he is really looking for. 

While you may not agree with my reader’s choice of profession, what she said is actually very good advice. After all, it is a an escort’s job to connect and communicate with a diversity of men with whom they may find NOTHING in common…all within a timeframe of 20 minutes. So how they do it? By listening, observing, and guiding the conversationa carefully. 

Make sure you learn about a girl by observing her clothes, bags, and body language before you approach her. And while you’re talking to her, make sure you ask questions and use active listening to find out what interests them the most. Then tell them what they want to hear. (Note: This does not have to be unethical. If a girl is after the wrong things, then she is not the kind of woman you want to date anyway.)

8) Not Realizing Tests are Just Tests

Many men do not realize that women will often throw little verbal tests at them to see if they are consistent. For example, they may insult you slightly to see how you react. Women are great at guessing based on their emotions instead of their logic, so make sure you don’t let these little verbal games take away your confidence!

9) Being Too Afraid to Butt Heads

This is an extension of the last mistake. Many guys are too afraid to disagree with women or to butt head with them directly. Wrong. It’s better to realize you crash and burn than to agree with a woman just for the sake of agreeing with her. If you can’t even be congruent with your own beliefs, how can you expect her to respect and admire you?

10) Not Knowing When to Stop

Finally, you should know when the stop a conversation no matter how great it’s going. Always end up a conversation early before the energy drops too low – unless you are sure you can take things to the next level right away. 

With that said, I’m going to end my article right here. (If you want more, you’ll have to buy my “Smart Dating Course“!)

by Marius P

Romantic Dating Tips: How to be Romantic

Romance is at the heart of any dating experience. If you don't consider yourself romantic then you are wrong. I don't know of anyone on this planet who doesn't have the ability to fall in love. Therefore if you can fall in love, you can be romantic too. Romance is not in the grand gestures , it is in the small details. Women will often say that it is the small things that matter. The small gestures but it is down to both men and women to start being romantic. It is a two-way process and both parties get an immense amount of pleasure from showing they care about someone. Yes we would all love to have a romantic picnic on a deserted Caribbean beach with the person of our dreams but romance begins closer to home with tips such as these:

• Understand what romance means and why it is important and learn what romantic aspects there are to your own character. No one has a heart made of stone, however tough their exterior.
• Understand that romance is not the sole domain of women and that men who are romantic are far more successful when dating
• Romance has nothing whatsoever to do with masculinity. In fact, being romantic can enhance your masculinity and reputation with girls.
• Not all women are naturally romantic either but that doesn't have to be the case.
• The key to being romantic is thoughtfulness. So start being a little less thoughtless and selfish.
• Communicate with your partner on every level and anticipate their desires and needs.
• Look at your partner when they are talking and hold their gaze
• Learn that mood, location, situation and ambience can heighten romance with dramatic effect
• Phone just to say hello, I love you and surprise your partner
• Learn to say, I love you and mean it. Don't say it ever, if you don't mean it
• Send them notes and small cards telling them you are thinking of them
• Be spontaneous and do little deeds that show you are thinking about them
• Start going for walks together, whatever the weather
• Put your partner first, particularly as a surprise with a spontaneous trip away
• Think creatively and plan a surprise weekend away
• Buy flowers any time of the year, nice ones not just roses
• Remember birthdays, anniversaries and landmark days such as the day you first met and plan something
• Listen to the clues your partner gives you, such as things they like and books they read and buy little gifts
• Keep being romantic. In a good relationship, romance never ends
• Compromise. Putting yourself first is not romantic.
• Write him/her a letter and let them know that you love them and you mean it. People send far few letters these days. Use good quality stationery too.
• Watch romantic movies together and invest quality time doing the things you share and both enjoy
• Make cards rather than buying them. It shows thought and inspiration.
• Take your partner on a picnic to the park or beach and prepare in advance without involving them. Initiative illustrates romance nicely
• Don't be a cold fish. Learn how to hug, cuddle and make physical contact. Touching without sex is far more romantic but don't always hug without kissing!
• Kiss your date and learn to appreciate the finer qualities of kissing for its own sake
• Dance together when the occasion arises and show them special attention
• Hold hands and do anything make your partner feel close to you
• Hold and hug your partner in bed, especially after sex
• Talk chat and converse about anything and everything
• Allow your partner to breathe and do separate things to heighten the sense of romance when you are together
• If you don't cook dinner for your date, start learning my friend. A surprise dinner with candles is romantic
• Buy small gifts spontaneously that show great thought in what they enjoy. But not too many otherwise it has the opposite effect
• Remember that romance is often about giving of yourself, even if it is simply your precious time when you could have had other plans. Making your partner a priority is vital
• Do things that make you both laugh. Laughter and romance go hand in hand
• Remember that romance is in the small details and does not need to be expensive in any way. I'd rather receive a handmade card any day than an expensive gift
• Anticipate your partner's wishes and desires to show them you are listening to them and that you care
• Expect rightfully that romance is a two-way process though the romance you provide is simply giving of yourself

How to Stop Jealousy in a Relationship

Jealousy has always been a problem in many relationships. That green-eyed monster is always lurking somewhere, ready to cook up some trouble and strain in the relationship. It is important that partners should know how to deal with jealousy and know when to stop it the moment that it tries to affect the relationship.

Jealousy can easily destroy an relationship. All means should be done to stop it whenever such feelings crop up. One of the best ways to stop jealousy is by better communication between partners. Better communications would allow both man and woman to talk about what would make them jealous and understanding each one better.

Communication would also help partners establish guidelines in the relationship that would determine what would be acceptable and unacceptable behavior. This would help a lot in taking the uncertainties away that usually develop into jealousy in most relationships.

Jealousy may come into a relationship by way of suspicion. Being suspicious of your partner would easily tell that you do not trust him or her. And sometimes such suspicions are not based on facts but merely by way of emotions and insecurities.

The best way to stop jealousy is by remaining objective and trying to get to the root of the suspicion rather than make emotions fuel it towards jealousy. And more importantly, trust on your partner will play a big part on stopping jealousy. This is also the part where better communication will help clear things up. Being open and honest about your feelings toward your partner may help put everything into perspective.

When dealing with jealousy, it is also important to seek the help of a friend. Try to have an objective buddy who can tell you what’s right and wrong especially if you feel that you are harboring that green-eyed monster. Sometimes jealousy can make a person become blind to what reality is. It would take an objective friend to tell you if you are already behaving in an irrational manner. An honest friend can always make you realize what is right and if your emotions are just getting the best of you.

Another way to stop jealousy is by building up on self-confidence and self-esteem. Insecurity about oneself can easily lead one to become jealous. If you begin to lack e assurance that your partner is still attracted to you, then you might become an easy prey to jealousy. By just being confident and sure about yourself and your partner would help stop jealousy from becoming a problem in your relationship.

101 Romantic Things To Do With Your Lover

1. Watch the sunset together.

2. Take showers together.

3. Back rubs/massages.

4. Listen to classical music and cuddle in the dark or w/ blacklight.

5. French Kiss.

6. Hold her w/ hands inside the back of her shirt.

7. Whisper to each other.

8. Cook for each other.

9. Skinny dip.

10. Make out in the rain.

11. Dress each other.

12. Undress each other.

13. Kiss every part of their body.

14. Hold hands.

15. Sleep together. (Actually sleep with each other…not sex)

16. One word…Foreplay

17. Sit and talk in just underwear.

18. Buy gifts for each other.

19. Roses.

20. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you’re together.

21. Wear his clothes.

22. Find a nice secluded place to lie and watch the stars.

23. Incense/candles/oils/blacklights and music make for great cuddling/sex.

24. Kiss at every chance you get.

25. Don’t wear underwear and let them find out.

26. Kinky is bad…Blindfolds are good.

27. Lightly kiss their collarbone and their jawbone just below the ear, then whisper I love you.

28. Bubble baths.

29. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

30. Make love.

31. Write poetry for each other.

32. Kiss/smell her hair.

33. Hugs are the universal medicine.

34. Say I love you, only when you mean it and make sure they know you mean it.

35. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.

36. Tell her that she’s the only girl you ever want. Don’t lie.

37. Spend every second possible together.

38. Tell her that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to. And mean it.

39. Look into each other’s eyes.

40. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

41. Talk to each other using only body language and your eyes.

42. When in public, only flirt w/ each other.

43. Walk behind her and put your hands in her front pockets.

44. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren’t looking.

45. Clothes are no fun.

46. Buy her a ring.

47. Keep one of her bras somewhere where you see it everyday.

48. Sing to each other.

49. Read to each other.

50. PDA = Public Display of Affection.

51. Take advantage of any time alone together.

52. Tell her about how you answered every question in math with her name.

53. Draw. (If you can)

54. Let her sit on your lap.

55. Go hiking and camp out together in the woods or on a mountain.

56. Lips were made for kissing.
So were eyes, and fingers, and cheeks, and collarbones, and hands, and ears.

57. Kiss her stomach.

58. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

59. Guys like half-shirts.

60. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.

61. Spaghetti… (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

62. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

63. Unless you can feel their hear beating, you aren’t close enough.

64. Dance together.

65. Sit in front of a roaring fire and make out/make love.

66. I love the way a girl looks right after she’s fallen asleep with her head in my lap.

67. Carry her to bed.

68. Waterbeds are fun.

69. You figure it out.

70. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.

71. Break every one of your parent’s relationship rules for them.

72. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes

73. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.

74. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

75. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

76. Ride your bike 8 miles just to see them for a few hours.

77. Ride home and call them.

78. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

79. Somehow incorporate them into any kind of religion or worship you have.

80. Be Prince Charming to her parents. (Brownie Points)

81. Act out mutual fantasies together. (Not necessarily sexual)

82. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

83. Stay up all night to think of 101 ways to be sweet to them.

84. Hang out with his/her friends. (more brownie points)

85. Go to church/pray/worship together.

86. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

87. Cuddle together under a full moon on a clear night.

88. Learn from each other and don’t make the same mistake twice.

89. Everyone deserves a second chance.

90. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

91. Make sacrifices for each other.

92. Really love each other, or don’t stay together.

93. Write a fictional story about how you met/fell in love, etc. and give it to them.

94. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren’t thinking about them,
and make sure they know it.

95. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

96. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.

97. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

98. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

99. Sleep naked together.

100. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

101. Never forget the kiss goodnight. And always remember to say, "Sweet dreams."

How Do I Love Thee?

by : Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee?
Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!
-and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

The Passionate Shepherd To His Love

by : Christopher Marlowe

Come live with me and be my love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That valleys, groves, hills, and fields,
Woods, or steepy mountain yields.
And we will sit upon the rocks,
Seeing the shepherds feed their flocks,
By shallow rivers to whose falls
Melodious birds sing madrigals.

And I will make thee beds of roses
And a thousand fragrant posies,
A cap of flowers, and a kirtle
Embroidered all with leaves of myrtle

A gown made of the finest wool,
Which from our pretty lambs we pull;
Fair lined slippers for the cold,
With buckles of the purest gold:

A belt of straw and ivy buds,
With coral clasps and amber studs;
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Come live with me and be my love.

The shepherd swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning;
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then live with me and be my love.

4 Ways to Plan a Surprise for Boyfriend or Husband

Are you looking for a way to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband? You have picked up a great Dating Buzz. Wondering what men like or how a man would love to be surprised? Women love to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband but are often out of ideas of how they could do it. Especially when your they are difficult to get surprised easily. Then check out this 4 ways for women to plan a surprise for boyfriend or husband. I'm sure this tips will make your them guessing but without risking to uncover your actual surprise.

Hidden Tickets to a Concert or Favorite Sports Game

You could get them tickets to a sports game or a concert if they are hardcore fan of a band or a sports team and usually that is what men like. The refrigerator, his wallet or in a pocket of his favorite shirt would be a great place to hide the tickets where your boyfriend or your husband will find them on their own. You can't imagine how surprised they will be when they find the ticket and even more when they see what tickets are they for. A great surprise for boyfriend or husband. Bet you haven't thought about this Dating Buzz.

Night on the Town surprise!

Plan a night out in town if you consider to have a special and romantic surprise with your partner. Before the actual day of the surprise, plan out all the stops you want to visit in town. But to keep this to a great surprise, you will need to insist him that you should drive for the night to ensure he has no idea as to where the next destination will be. Take him to some of his favorite places. It will be great to be driven around especially when driven to a new and interesting places. What men like is not to be the driver all the time too.

Have a Surprise Party

It is not as difficult as you think to have a surprise party. What you need to do to keep the surprise going is to just tell your boyfriend or husband that you are planning a special night for his birthday just the two of you. This will keep him in oblivion and eventually catch him off guard at the party by not expecting a crowd of family and friends. This is the most common Dating Buzz.

Scavenger Hunt

This can easily be the best surprise for boyfriend or husband. Depending on your preferences and your motivation you can vary the size of the hunt. A simple scavenger hunt would be by just putting clues around your house. However it could be much more interesting to make a larger scavenger hunt by placing all the clues in a well-hidden public areas. What men like would be to include his favorite places into the scavenger hunt.

There is another method for a scavenger hunt. You can do this by telling your boyfriend or husband to look for a specific item. For this, you are required to list some of your favorite things (things both of you like), and tell them to look for the items and take a picture of it.

These different surprise for boyfriend and husband will work at different occasion. For a great dating buzz you will need to think of the method that is best to work with the surprise you already planned. Also think about best way to keep your surprise a secret. And best of all, have fun!

By: Macdlena Jonathan - articlebase.com

5 Great Online Dating Tips

Nowadays, thanks to the internet, it’s easier than ever to date. Gone are the days of only meeting people in your immediate circle of friends and the grotesque spectacle of nightclubs and bars, you may now specify your ideal mate and search through thousands of people that might be looking for you. Here are some tips to maximize your experience.

1. Be sure to know as much as possible about your astrological ‘sign’
Know what kinds of other signs work with yours and what kinds don’t. It is of the utmost importance that you arbitrarily narrow the playing field. While on a date be sure to mention how compatible your 2 signs are, and say things like, “It’s so like a Taurus to not believe in astrology.” Many websites will not even allow you to leave this section blank, so it’s best to be on board; recognizing this as an outdated superstition will only hurt your chances.


2. Only use extreme close-ups or photoshopped images
Appearance is important so it’s best if you try to hide yours, after all if you were attractive you wouldn’t be on a dating website. Another good strategy is to use a picture that is wildly out of date or that has multiple people in it. Are you the hot guy in a tight shirt catching the Frizbee or the troll who is throwing it? Women should also use pictures of themselves with former boyfriends (it shows you can be in a relationship).

3. Mention how you “Hate Games”
Ladies, don’t you hate games? Tell people how much you hate games so they will know how much you hate games.

4. It doesn’t have to be about dating
A lot of women go on dating websites just to meet friends, but don’t spoil a perfectly good evening by mentioning this to your date. Wait until the night is over then, as he leans in to kiss you, mention that you “have a boyfriend.”

5. Meet in a safe place
Like your/their apartment.

How to Impress Your Date on the First Date

Do you still recall the time your first date turned out a disaster? How about the second date or maybe the third one? You underwent several first dates with so many people but they don't call you after that first night out. Now, you can stop moping in your room worrying that you'll end up as a spinster or a bachelor. There are many ways on how to keep your date hooked up on you. Below are just some of the things to keep in mind to let that phone ring right after the first rendezvous.

1. Dress for Comfort. The first rule when going out on a date, especially for first timers, is being comfortable. Start off with your dress. Even if it is better to create a good impression on your date by slipping into your slick black dress and stilettos, you won't earn a good mark if you keep on checking out your behind for possible panty lines. Dress for comfort and not just for a good impression. If you really find it awkward to put on something girly from the usual tees and sneakers you wear everyday, forget about the pointy shoes and opt for a flat pair of sandals or shoes for a stylish effect sans the pain in the legs. Before anything else, consider the place where you will be going. It is safer to ask your date where he plans to take you. You wouldn't want to be wearing a chic dress just to watch her favorite basketball game in a stadium, right?

2. Watch Your Manners. There is nothing more disgusting than the sight of your date stuffing food in his mouth one after the other. One major turn off is also a quick case of make up and lipstick retouch in the table. It's not a crime to excuse yourself for a while to go the powder room and do your deed. It isn't that you need to act like a princess when dining out with your date; just be conscious enough to know the do's and don'ts. Laughing your heart out when your date tells something which you find really funny is alright, but not to the point of spewing your food all over the table, more so on your date. Be natural, but be refined.

3. Be Interactive. Bear in mind that the first date is always the initial step in getting to know each other so grab all the opportunity you have to know the other person. Don't just sit there staring at your date the whole evening pretending to listen while you stifle a yawn. Talk. There are no rules or standard topics to talk about on a first date. Topics like embarrassing experience during your grade school or how miserable you were when your cat died are alright as long as you see that your date is interested and doesn't feel awkward with the topic. Seeing that you can talk anything under the sun without being a show off gives an impression that you are a spontaneous person, a plus factor.

4. Have Some Sense of Humor. There was never a study that humor kills so why stop the jokes? Just remember to keep it clean. Keep the ambiance light as much as possible to avoid tension in the air. The only way to avert the anxieties is to let out a few laughs by telling a funny story. Nevertheless, if you are not a born comedian, laughing to some of his jokes and funny stories usually do the trick. Guys love it when you laugh at their jokes.

5. Be Yourself. The top secret to making people like you is to show them the real you. Your date may find your boyish antics weird but he may find it cute thinking that you're a cowboy who can ride with his jokes, activities and someone he can tag along with the guys later.

6. Relax. Butterflies in the stomach, mice running in your heart and the nauseous feeling are normal when going on a first date with someone. However, if you do not loosen up, the worse case that could happen is you won't be able to say any sane thing to your date. Relax and remind yourself that you are on a date to enjoy, not to be stressed.

7. Be Appreciative. Before the night ends, take time to thank your date for spending time with you. You don't have fret, a kiss on a first date is not a must. On the other hand, if you really enjoyed the evening, a peck on the cheek is just fine to show your appreciation followed up by a short text message or phone call later to thank him again for the wonderful night.

Attracting Men – How To Get A Guy To Approach You

Let’s imagine for a second that you’re in a bar; you’ve just spotted a good-looking guy that you want to talk too. How do you get him over?

The first step to attracting men, as I’m sure you will have guessed is eye contact.

1) “The look” – how to do it right.

What you ideally want to do is one quick look in his direction, but then another where you hold his eye contact for just one second longer so that he registers your interest.

2) Lose the bitch face!

Many women fall into the ice-queen trap, where their default facial expression gives off the impression of “If you come up to me, I’ll rip your face off”. Similarly most guys lean against the bar trying to look stony faced like James Bond, thinking if they just look cool enough then a woman will go weak at the knees.

If you want guys to feel relaxed and OK with approaching you, it’s so important to smile and look approachable. You can still be sexy and look like you’re having a good time. Women laughing and smiling is a massive aphrodisiac; that’s why men instinctively want to make women laugh, because it turns us on.

3) Get proximity

One simple way to encourage him to approach you is to position your group close to his. It’s particularly handy if you can position yourself side by side at the bar with him. That way, all he has to do is turn his head to start a conversation, and he knows that if all doesn’t go to plan he can just turn back and carry on chatting to his friends.

4) The last resort: making the move yourself

I know that this article is titled “how to get a guy to approach you” but I still want to give you a few things to fall back on if you’re feeling adventurous enough to initiate a conversation with a guy yourself.

A lot of people put so much emphasis on how you open conversation, when really it’s not a big deal at all, and it’s a lot simpler to do that you would imagine. There are generally two kinds of conversation starters: compliments and questions.

- Compliments

The first is a more direct kind, where you might be a bit more forthcoming. Some women are worried that a compliment will make them appear too easy. But as long as you don’t make it really easy for him by agreeing with everything he says and never challenging him in any way, then a compliment will never devalue you in a guy’s eyes.

For the second type of conversation starter I am going to give you an amazing line to start conversation anywhere. Prepare yourselves because this one if golden: “Hey, can you help me?”

- Asking a favour

If you EVER start a conversation with a guy by saying “I need your help…” the first thing he will do is think, “Anything!” It’s instinctive, because men love to feel manly, and you needing his help will make him feel like more of a man.

Why Momentum Is So Important In Getting Dates

If a girl tries to reschedule the first date, you are looking at something that could kill the interaction. (If she reschedules on a date well after you had sex with her, then it’s usually not a big deal.)

The time between getting her number and seeing her again is when most girls flake, so it’s important you keep that time to under one week. You call within a couple days of meeting her and schedule a date for a couple days after that. If too much time passes until she sees you again, momentum is lost and the interaction loses importance in her mind.

The reason: if she meets a new guy and doesn’t see him for over a week and doesn’t feel any discomfort, how will she come to the realization that it’s important to see him?

If a girl tries to cancel the first date, and you make it easy for her to do so, there’s a risk that date one will never occur. When dealing with a girl’s attempt to cancel, the main idea is to not let her off the hook so easily. Make it uncomfortable for her so there is tension that she attempts to relieve, either by canceling her cancellation or by wanting to quickly reschedule.

Girls usually cancel on the same day of the date through text or phone. If she calls you on the day of the date, let her leave a message by not picking up your phone. Do not respond to her until the very last minute, where she worries that you will actually show up to the date or that you were going to stand her up.

For example if you set a date at 8PM and she cancels at 5, do not call her until 7:15-7:30. The extra time also allows you to think about the best way to respond.

A few months ago I had a first date with a girl I met at a dive bar. It was set at 8:30 but I got a text message in the afternoon from her saying she is not feeling well and needs to cancel. I didn’t respond and went on with my day. I came home, ate dinner, and then got a call from her an hour before the date was supposed to happen. She asked if I received her text message and I said yes, that I was right about to call her. She said that she feels a little bit better and can go out as planned.

In some cases doing NOTHING actually keeps the date on schedule. Who would have thought that?

It’s better to go out with a sick girl or one that is less than 100% ready to have sex because it at least keeps the interaction going. Remember, the more time that passes before the first date, the less important you become.

I took this girl out, did some very light kissing at the end, and then banged her on the next date. Now if I responded to her text message before she felt “better,” the date wouldn’t have happened and it’s possible I may not have gotten the bang.

At the very least, delaying your response stirs up some worry and places you in her mind for a much longer time. I don’t know what a girl is thinking when she is trying to cancel a date, but I think it’s possible that your delayed response would make her think, “Maybe I’m making a mistake.” At best, like in my personal example above, doing absolutely nothing will keep you on the right track.

I wouldn’t have been able to figure out the best way to deal with girls canceling dates unless I got A LOT of dates, but in all of high school and college I got a grand total of two dates. And nothing happened on either date. I was clueless AND sexless.

I made a commitment to solve this problem with a fresh start after college, and proceeded to figure out the best ways to meet girls, talk to them, and get dates. I used to never get dates, but I became a guy who would view a date just as another experiment to figure out women. Imagine how long a way I came.

Now I worry about things other than girls, like the meaning of life and which country I want to visit next.

Dating Rules for Women

The Do's and Dont's of dating for the modern female

Guys: If you don't like this, look away now.

In another dating article on this site, you will find a general set of rules than men should follow when dating. In the same way, women have some general rules that they should contend with when entering the dating jungle. Now I know everyone is different, so don't take things too seriously here. There has been some controversy over some literature published in the USA that lays out in detail the rules a woman should follow to get her guy (or gal). Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider's 1995 bestseller "The Rules," explains how women should play hard if they want to get their guy. I can understand why some groups would be hostile about this, but the fact is that when we grow up, there are a predefined set of dating rules. What happens is that we forget most of them after the age of 21, and then realize we need to relearn them.

I wish there weren't any general rules, but courtship is a ritual. There are things that we make happen that excite, stimulate, create interest and confound. Dating is a long test of compatibility. Are we perfectly matched? If we just threw ourselves together, then the chances of long term happiness might be compromised. And yet previous generations managed to succeed on a far less complex courtship criteria list. Many arranged marriages work all too interestingly.

In every society there are a predefined set of social rules we follow, from the way and timing of eating to the way we behave in public. The issue here is that when women date, there are some things that can help them be more successful. If we accept that dating is a game, then there are rules to that game. There are winners and losers. If you know the rules in advance, it gives you a head start. If men know the rules by which you are playing, you may change the rules to suit the situation to keep the man guessing. Men love a challenge, so feel free to adapt rules and add them as you feel inclined.

You can separate rules out into two parts, dating and online dating. Both areas have distinct rules that a woman should follow for dating success.

General Dating Rules

• Always look great, whatever your income. Gorgeous hair and some lipstick with rags will still turn his head. You have the advantage. You are the woman. Look your best as you could meet a potential Mr. Right anywhere at any time.
• Never reveal information you don't have to. An enigmatic woman drives men wild.
• Keep dates brief, but your men interested. Less is always more.
• Try and stay in shape and involve some fitness regime at a gym. However much you hate it, your Mr. Right loves your body as much as your mind.
• Let your man pay. If he is interested, he is interested enough to ensure you eat well and get home safely in a cab.
• Ensure you receive flowers. If he doesn't know what a florist is, dump him.
• Never ever sleep with a guy until he has fallen for you. Sex early in your dating game plan will ruin everything.
• Always keep a guy waiting and never turn up early. It is a lady's perogative.
• Never be available when he wants you to be. Never be at the end of a phone when he calls and always let him leave a message or two first before replying.
• If he is available Tuesday, you are available Thursday.
• Weekend shopping trips with girlfriends are sacred and not available for dates.
• Keep your man standing on quicksand by shifting landmarks and goalposts constantly.
• Ensure you are a good kisser. Men will walk away if you cannot kiss. Practice on a mirror if you have to.
• Never ever talk about previous boyfriends, particularly their prowess in the bedroom. Your ex-boyfriends are your business only.
• Never assume anything about your date until you choose to know him better. You cannot always tell by looking.
• If any man shows the slightest signs of possessiveness or insecurity, run like the wind. Life is too short for boys.
• If his shoes or hygiene are a disgrace, dump him.
• Never talk too much about your father and how your date measures up in comparison.
• Never ever come across as too available or too desperate. He will run a mile. He is the one doing the chasing.
• If the guy in the corner is gorgeous, go get him and create the need in him for you. Never wait for men to come to you because you may watch him leave with someone else.
• You may well have all the bodily functions of a man, just try not to demonstrate them early on.
• If you want a child, don't mention it on the first few dates.
• Never ever criticize his mother unless you want to remain single.

Online Dating Rules

• Always let them come to you, don't chase them via email.
• Block anyone who annoys you instantly.
• Post the best and most vampish photo you can find.
• Don't reply to instant messages with clever opening lines.
• Remain aloof and let yourself be chased.
• Always reply to emails at least 3 days after receipt.
• Never provide your real email or phone details.
• Always date safely and protect yourself at every turn.
• Make sure your login name is stunning and sexy, as well as enigmatic.
• Do not login for hours on end. Short, rapid visits are best.
• Do not assume the person you are talking to is destitute or sad.
• Never ever reply to emails on weekends. Wait until a weekday.
• Never state how good your sexual performance is in your profile.
• If you don't want to date married men, spell it out in your profile.
• A man who doesn't reply to your email within 3 days should be ignored.
• Make sure your humor levels come across in text.
• Do not chat to hundreds of men at once. The delay in replying is a dead giveaway and your Mr. Right will be off.
• Don't even think about misrepresenting your size or description. They will find out.
• Come across as cool and sophisticated for best results

Ladies, always remember that you are a sexy, desirable woman and the world is your oyster. Always let men do the chasing and always allow yourself to be the chooser. Always stay safe and never risk yourself for the sake of attending a date. Always use a safe dating Website.

Top 10 Dating Tips

Dating Tips and Advice for Singles

Whether you are new to the dating scene, are reentering the dating scene, or are a serial dater, you can use dating tips and advice. No one is a dating expert – even the most beautiful and wealthy people all struggle with matters of the heart. Everyone can learn something about how to date more, how to attract the types of people we want to attract, and how to make sure initial chemistry blooms into an enduring relationship.

The truth is, there are no magic formulas, no fail-proof tricks, no cunning ways of trapping Mr. or Miss Right. There are however some essential facts that you should always bear in mind along the way. Dating tips are just that -- tips, not one-size-fits-all guarantees. Different tacks will work for different people. It depends on the situation, who we are, where we are in our lives, etc. However, there are some threads of advice that are fairly universal and can benefit anyone who practices them:

Top 10 Dating Tips

1.  Get prepared for dating.

If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.

2. Get your act together.

Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that.

3.  Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look.

Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort.

4.  Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect.

Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

5.  Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims.

By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

6.  Choose those you have a good chance of dating.

Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same.

7. Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners.You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach.

8.  Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue.

Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary.

9.  Enjoy dating for what it is, dating.

It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

10. Never make yourself too available.

People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away.

Dating And Self-Promotion: Believe In Yourself

Boost your self-esteem and date more often

Life, my friend, is not fair. Instead life is one giant advert and in your case you are the creative director and subject of your own advert. No one else is going to do it for you. Get it right and you reap the rewards. Get it wrong and you will be ignored and forgotten. And such is the premise of life for the single dater. Life shouldn't be like this, people should love us for who we are and what we are. They should be able to see our hidden depths immediately and focus in on everything that we know to be good about ourselves. But like any product in the world today, you don't know about it unless you sell it.

Self promotion begins with the basic product for sale - you. If it is no good, no one will buy into it. You may be able to fool the odd one or two but that's about it. So the first step has to be to sort out your product and make sure it is as appealing as possible. Whilst I get lots of comments about how one has matured and is able to look below the surface, the surface is the first thing we encounter so it needs to be presentable.

You have to remember when promoting yourself that first appearances count, however much you hate that truth. And worse still another cliché, people do judge a book by its cover. Almost everything in our daily lives is marketed to us and its rare we get much for free (well this site being one of those rare exceptions!). So in short, you need to go into the bathroom and strip and take a good hard look at yourself. Once you have done that go and put your best clothes on and take another long hard look. The be ruthless about your judgment. You will never see yourself as others do but do be brave enough to ask closest friends what they think too.

Now at this juncture you must concentrate. You already know your good and bad points but be realistic, I know people should love you for everything you are, but lets get to that later. First of all, what can you change about yourself that you can live with and that is possible and that will help you appeal to your chosen market. Don't sell yourself short though. You want to be appealing to as wider an audience as feasible. The also make sure you know your market. If you are 50 and overweight you may not appeal to 21 year olds however much you wish you did. People generally date within a 10 year date range maximum. Beyond that and you are generally in rarity territory.

Okay so you know what can be fixed and you know your market and so the next thing is to go and do something about it. Good intentions never solved anything so get on that treadmill, join that diet class, get yourself out shopping, do get your hair cut and sort out your image. Once you have upgraded and maintained your image, your self confidence will soar. In doing so you willbelieve in the product you are offering - you !. If you believe in yourself you can do anything. Positive mental attitude is the most ignored and underrated thing you can achieve. You can turn yourself around in days and weeks buy feeling good about yourself.

Okay so a few weeks down the line you have recreated your product and you have selected your market and you know it will sell so now its time to go out there and market yourself. Self promotion is the name of the game. In the same was that faint heart never won fair lady, so staying at home in front of the TV never won anyone. Unless you talk to as many people as possible and socialize and join clubs and attend social functions and parties and events you won't meet people. If you don't meet people you won't be able to make impressions on them and allow them to see what you have to offer. Marketing and self promotion isn't just about image, its a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more chance you will encounter someone who wants your product - you!

You will find it easier to approach people because you believe in yourself and the more people you meet who express an interest so the more you will feel good. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. Keep at it and you will never look back. But whilst being sociable and meeting people keep in mind that your self promotion plan has a goal. That goal may be a new relationship. It may be many dates , it may be company or it may even be marriage and children. But whatever it is, part of your overall promotion plan must be to set attainable goals and then go after them. Everything in life takes time and effort to achieve. I know to all of us, some people appear to have it all, but apart from looks which we can't control, the difference between us all is largely down to pure effort. Talents don't mean much unless we use them.

These are some common traits in successful, well-liked people:

• They are happy
• They are fun
• They are reliable
• They make people feel good
• They have a good sense of humor
• They are organized
• They are confident
• They have direction
• They are good listeners and can assist
• They have goals and ambition
• They are dynamic and spontaneous

And remember that if things do take time, your life has already changed for the better and you are well on your way to meeting the person of your dreams. I am sorry to suggest that we view ourselves using the language of commerce as it is somewhat tasteless but it is a simple truth about our modern society. Learn from the world about you to make yourself the most attractive you can be.

When you promote yourself to people when dating try and do the following to assist you in being a successful dater:

• Be nice to all the people you meet
• Meet as many people as you can
• Learn to be sociable and willing
• Learn to smile at people naturally
• Be kind and considerate and generous
• Learn to listen and be open minded
• Lean to like yourself
• Change the things you don't like about yourself
• Give yourself a makeover and be ruthless if necessary
• Don't stay indoors unless necessary
• Learn about what makes people popular and copy their methods
• Try to be happy and content with who you are as a person
• Remove negative aspects and influences in your life permanently
• Set attainable goals for yourself
• have a mental image of how you see yourself in 3 years time and work towards it every day
• Don't suffer fools gladly though. You are not a fool either.

Does Your Perfect Soulmate Actually Exist?

Thoughts on finding

I have a real difficulty with the subject of 'The One' at the moment because I am hearing the phrase mentioned daily yet I think it really has got out of control. I think we are mostly guilty of secretly setting our sights on the perfect person for a relationship and acknowledging anything at all resembling second-best as simply not acceptable at all. In fact we probably discount most people we meet without a second glance. No chemistry! Well not acceptable for us anyway - that's because we are special. The trouble with this contemporary outlook is that it is based on a completely unrealistic set of expectations with goalposts that move by the day (or second - Ed.!).

Let is say that you are 30 and you have had two or three relationships previously. You have a semi decent career that is providing you with a reasonable lifestyle. You have a good set of friends, certain financial independence and a wide and varied set of ideals and tastes that are sophisticated and intelligent. You know what you are about and you know where you may be going. Okay great. So the problem is that you are looking for 'The One'. You are looking for the person who will compliment your lifestyle, your outlook, will be able to bring something to your already hectic lifestyle but will never ever ask you to compromise.

You are in charge of your own destiny and you don't need to compromise so why should you. After all if he is The One, it will all fall into place perfectly. Well you are in for a nasty shock my friends. Life isn't perfect, just switch on the news and look. Marriage isn't perfect as anyone married 40 years+ will happily relate. Everything in life needs working at, and everything in life comes with catches and hitches. There are a couple of key words I will come back to - 'compliment' and 'compromise'.

The problem is our current generations are growing up with expectations that are far exceeding availability. You are looking for the perfect man or woman, you are looking for that 'one' special person and yet amazingly it appears that those who are so selective appear to have heavily overvalued their own 'relationship wealth'. Who says that they have so much to offer. Who says that they are truly nice people who deserve someone. I constantly encounter the word 'compliment' on the profiles of my own dating sites. Women in particular are adept at stating that they are very choosey, that they can be difficult, that they don't suffer fools gladly and that they are very specific as to who they are looking for.

Ask people to describe their perfect mate and they struggle. I have seen a lot of pseudo-spiritual comments lately particularly from women when describing their ideal partner. Think of phrases such as "soul mate" and how often they are used (see below). Its almost like there is a cerebral match that is not defined in physical terms that allows some form of 'communion' or 'union' between 'two souls' at an intellectual and emotional level. Many women friends have said that there needs to be a deep 'connection' or 'chemistry' between them and their partner. Nothing definite there then.

I asked a friend how she defined "The One' and this is what she said:

"The one is a meeting of two minds, bodies and souls, whereby both persons find themselves drawn to each others auras. We want to find the text book mate - everlasting love - our spiritual ideal. As women, we can be easily kneaded like dough and can be moulded as we still have this feminine desire to be needed and loved. We love men's eyes because eyes are the gateway to your soul, piercing yet intuitive."

This statement is extremely interesting not only because of the spiritual notions expressed in a woman's definition of The One but also because she states that women still have a desire to be wanted by men. This leads me to think therefore that a man is still expected to act like a man.

Another girlfriend expressed this view about The One:

"mind you, we have a lot more to lose which is why we harp on about the 'one'. Well, you know about the biological clock, well we have to invest time to find out about a guy to see if he worth our while."

Ah, now things are becoming clearer. Women are looking for the perfect man to make a commitment with because they would like to start a family and don't want to risk getting it wrong. This makes much more sense. To this end I admire the search for a spiritual match and can see its fundamental existence may be critical. Well, except for one thing:

You may remember in a previous article that I tested this spiritual connection and its primary importance out. I simply registered with a well known Internet dating agency and posted my profile with my photo. My profile was genuine and kind and loving and gentle but had a lot added about soul mates and partnerships etc. I am an average to quite good looking guy and received a few matches and emails and messages along the way. After a few months I then altered the photo on the profile from my own to one of a male catalogue model. In the space of one week I had around 180 email, offers of a date and letters with some women almost throwing themselves at me. What horrified me though was that some of these women had already seen this profile with a different photo and ignored it and more importantly the women who got in touch talked about how "spiritually alike" we were and how I appeared to be "their ideal soul mate".

They didn't know me, we had never chatted to me yet they thought I was ideal. These girls had clearly read my profile but the fact was, over 180 women were simply swayed by the way I looked. It had nothing to do with my personality and outlook or any of the details about me whatsoever. Yet to them I was The One. It doesn't feel good to be found out does it! So consequently I have come to the conclusion that many women are indeed searching for "The One". They are looking for that spiritual connection - as long as you are gorgeous and handsome and have a great career.

It is not fair to be too critical of this state of play because I believe the concept of 'The One' has been borne out of a modern liberation of women where they are now able to pick and choose exactly who they want to be with. No woman has to 'make do' anymore and society has evolved and rightly so. The main contention I have is that it is as ruthlessly shallow and misguided as men have ever been accused of in the past. Women do want a good looking man who is in shape. They do want someone who is fun and sexy and a good career and they do want a man who understands commitment and responsibility. But whether they in fact find him is another matter altogether.

I am often told by girlfriends that 'I am happier single than accepting second best'. What is second best? Second best appears to be everything that isn't perfect in the eyes of the beholder. Maybe that means I am second best and if so maybe I should start to feel I have issues! One friend told me this week that she was willing to lower her sights ever so slightly as she gets older but in general she would not be lowering her standards.

Again it ties in with 'the One' who epitomizes all the characteristics of the ideal man. When setting a precedent of standards in dating, people set themselves up to be constantly let down. It is unlikely in the short term that anyone will match their checklist because however great the date has just been, there may be someone waiting who is even better, who is 'the One'. Dating is a chemical reaction. It isn't about checklists, it isn't about computer date matching, it isn't about predetermined ideas about people. It is about communication and intellect and physical chemistry and instant emotions.

The truth is, we are beginning to have a dangerously lonely generation of ThirtySomething women with few partners and absolutely no willingness to compromise. You can blame men all you like, but seeking perfection doesn't guarantee happiness either. The issue ultimately is how these maturing generations will deal with lack of children in their early 40's after leaving things too late. How will they deal with a half lifetime of being single. How will they deal with the fact that their looks are fading and their attitudes have simply left them isolated and unmarried. What we are about to get in my opinion is a potentially troubled generation of people in their 40's and 50's who are still single and who have lost their sense of reality about relationships.