Jumat, 27 Mei 2011

Why Momentum Is So Important In Getting Dates

If a girl tries to reschedule the first date, you are looking at something that could kill the interaction. (If she reschedules on a date well after you had sex with her, then it’s usually not a big deal.)

The time between getting her number and seeing her again is when most girls flake, so it’s important you keep that time to under one week. You call within a couple days of meeting her and schedule a date for a couple days after that. If too much time passes until she sees you again, momentum is lost and the interaction loses importance in her mind.

The reason: if she meets a new guy and doesn’t see him for over a week and doesn’t feel any discomfort, how will she come to the realization that it’s important to see him?

If a girl tries to cancel the first date, and you make it easy for her to do so, there’s a risk that date one will never occur. When dealing with a girl’s attempt to cancel, the main idea is to not let her off the hook so easily. Make it uncomfortable for her so there is tension that she attempts to relieve, either by canceling her cancellation or by wanting to quickly reschedule.

Girls usually cancel on the same day of the date through text or phone. If she calls you on the day of the date, let her leave a message by not picking up your phone. Do not respond to her until the very last minute, where she worries that you will actually show up to the date or that you were going to stand her up.

For example if you set a date at 8PM and she cancels at 5, do not call her until 7:15-7:30. The extra time also allows you to think about the best way to respond.

A few months ago I had a first date with a girl I met at a dive bar. It was set at 8:30 but I got a text message in the afternoon from her saying she is not feeling well and needs to cancel. I didn’t respond and went on with my day. I came home, ate dinner, and then got a call from her an hour before the date was supposed to happen. She asked if I received her text message and I said yes, that I was right about to call her. She said that she feels a little bit better and can go out as planned.

In some cases doing NOTHING actually keeps the date on schedule. Who would have thought that?

It’s better to go out with a sick girl or one that is less than 100% ready to have sex because it at least keeps the interaction going. Remember, the more time that passes before the first date, the less important you become.

I took this girl out, did some very light kissing at the end, and then banged her on the next date. Now if I responded to her text message before she felt “better,” the date wouldn’t have happened and it’s possible I may not have gotten the bang.

At the very least, delaying your response stirs up some worry and places you in her mind for a much longer time. I don’t know what a girl is thinking when she is trying to cancel a date, but I think it’s possible that your delayed response would make her think, “Maybe I’m making a mistake.” At best, like in my personal example above, doing absolutely nothing will keep you on the right track.

I wouldn’t have been able to figure out the best way to deal with girls canceling dates unless I got A LOT of dates, but in all of high school and college I got a grand total of two dates. And nothing happened on either date. I was clueless AND sexless.

I made a commitment to solve this problem with a fresh start after college, and proceeded to figure out the best ways to meet girls, talk to them, and get dates. I used to never get dates, but I became a guy who would view a date just as another experiment to figure out women. Imagine how long a way I came.

Now I worry about things other than girls, like the meaning of life and which country I want to visit next.

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