5 Ways to Get a Lover

Despite what you might think, a fast car and a gorgeous face are not the only ways to attract a member of the opposite sex. Even if you feel that you have some major flaw that keeps you from finding a mate, it’s virtually guaranteed that someone out there will find your particular package irresistible. So let’s take a look at some more inventive ways to attract a lover for Spring…

1. Get a pet

Ever seen a puppy being walked in the park? Then noticed how many people will stop to talk to the critter, stroke it, play with it and quiz the owner about it’s name? Getting a pet can be an excellent way to make new friends – and if you’d rather not have the job of looking after it, offer to walk your neighbor’s! It gives you an excellent excuse to chat to other dog-walkers, and what more romantic place to meet someone than in a park? If all else fails, you might find the pup excellent company!

2. Shake your thang

Are you the first on the dance floor when the music starts, giving Elvis a run for his money? Or are you a wallflower who ‘sits this one out’ just about every time? Just like playing ball, it’s the taking part that counts – and showing you’re willing to get up and make a fool of yourself scores more points than begging two left feet. If you’re really not confident in your booty-shaking ability, try taking a class. Latin dancing, ballroom, ballet – any kind of dance class will help you learn how good it feels to move your body. And who knows, you might just meet a partner on the floor!

3. Help someone out

Doing some charity work or fundraising is not only helping a good cause, it might just help you meet that special someone. Choose a charity that really gets you fired up – whether it’s an animal welfare, humanitarian or environmental cause, doing something you believe in will get your passion flowing, and it shows! Fundraising drives are great places to meet people, and the fact that you’re doing something worthwhile proves to potential mates just how generous, caring and big-hearted you are!

4. Play for laughs

Yes, it really is true: a sense of humor is the sexiest thing you can have. Laughing someone into bed is a tried and tested formula – but you don’t have to be a stand up comic to make it work for you. Rather than trying to hog the limelight with a long string of bad jokes, just try for a funny conversation.

Show you’re willing to laugh at yourself, and your potential partner will be impressed at your self-awareness and modesty. Gently teasing them can also be a good way to break the ice and get everyone in a friendlier mood.

5. Think outside the box

If there’s a particular person whose attention you want to catch, try surprising them with a small gift. You don’t need to blow the bank on a hundred red roses – how about a cookie with your phone number in icing?

10 Mistakes Men Make When Talking to Women

1) Not Recognizing her Safety Level

A mistake many men make when they talk to women is not recognizing a woman’s natural need to feel safe and comfortable. Since women are usually not as strong physically as men, it puts them in a more vulnerable position when it comes to dealing with strangers they meet. So naturally, they have a natural barrier or “bitch shield” that protects them from potential harm.

Many men get upset because they think “hot” women act “bitchy” around strangers. Well, try walking down the street as a 5’6″, 120 pounds girl in high heels and miniskirt with bigger men leering at you from all angles. See if you’d still want to have that small talk with every guy who approaches you.

Probably not!

So how can you make a woman feel safe when you’re talking to her for the first time? Here are a few ideas:

• Be introduced by a third party
• Dress and groom yourself well
• Be VERY good at something so that you have SOME social proof
• Have strong, confident body language
• Have good eye contact
• Be congruent with your actions
• Avoid sensitive topics
• Talk about things she’d enjoy talking about
• Let her see you interact with other women
• Be the life of the party (once again, social proof)
• Don’t have any “strange” body language or behaviour
• Approach a woman when she’s in a group first

2) Acting Like She’s a Goddess

Remember my theories on “up-dating”, “down-dating”, and “romantic respect”> Most people want to date someone who’s the “best” person they can get. (“Best” doesn’t necessarily have to be about money or looks. It can be about values, interests, and beliefs too.) So if you start treating a woman like she’s a Goddess and better than you as soon as you meet her, OF COURSE she’s not going to be very interested in you!

3) Not Being Congruent With Your Objectives

Many men make the mistake of acting incongruent when they meet a woman they like. For example, they may

approach a woman because they want to date her, but they will “pretend” all they want is to be a friend. Some guys are so great at doing this that they will lie to themselves and their friends about their true intentions. They will say they are not interested…but secretly hope that the girl will somehow start chasing after them. (This way, they won’t be any chances of rejection or embarrassment!)

My opinion is that you should search for your feelings and be honest with yourself. If you are talking to a woman because you want to get into her pants, at least be bold and admit it to yourself. Go flirt with her and let it be known through your eye contact that you find her very attractive. Don’t try to hide it. She’ll either flirt back or she won’t.

If you just want to be friends, then act like a friend. If mutual feelings start developing, then start flirting. But don’t pretend you are not interested in a woman while trying to impress her at the same time. It’s incongruent.

4) Trying To Impress Her

Trying to impress a woman is probably the worst way to get her to like you. Don’t suck up to her. Don’t tell her about how much money you make or what restaurants you go to. Don’t tell her what kind of car you drive. The only way you should impress her is by letting her observe how confident, calm, and aloof you act in every situation. If there’s actual substance to you, she’ll see it. And if she likes that substance, she will chase after it and not want to let go. Be yourself and let her come to you. If you can’t do that be being who you are, then work on yourself until you can be congruent with yourself and women will still come to you. (Most of the time, all it takes will be a few attitude adjustments. Your actions, behaviour, and body language will adjust naturally!)

5) Thinking Complaining Makes Yourself Look Better

Another mistake many men make is to think that complaining or being negative can make them seem more intelligent. But in reality, most of the time, women don’t care about the things you want to complain about, be it your boss, your car, or the economy.

6) Not Having Confident Body Language

Yes, people DO judge you by your body language. So be a man and have bold, confident body language. Take up space. Have a presence – even if you are quiet. If you need help in this area because you are uncomfortable with your body, workout at the the gym to build muscles and take some Pilates classes to have better posture. You can even take some stage acting training.

7) Not Knowing what Interests Her

A reader who works as a high-class escorts once told me that great call girls know how to spend the first 20 minutes of the “hour” just observing, asking questions, and listening to a client so that they know exactly what he is really looking for. 

While you may not agree with my reader’s choice of profession, what she said is actually very good advice. After all, it is a an escort’s job to connect and communicate with a diversity of men with whom they may find NOTHING in common…all within a timeframe of 20 minutes. So how they do it? By listening, observing, and guiding the conversationa carefully. 

Make sure you learn about a girl by observing her clothes, bags, and body language before you approach her. And while you’re talking to her, make sure you ask questions and use active listening to find out what interests them the most. Then tell them what they want to hear. (Note: This does not have to be unethical. If a girl is after the wrong things, then she is not the kind of woman you want to date anyway.)

8) Not Realizing Tests are Just Tests

Many men do not realize that women will often throw little verbal tests at them to see if they are consistent. For example, they may insult you slightly to see how you react. Women are great at guessing based on their emotions instead of their logic, so make sure you don’t let these little verbal games take away your confidence!

9) Being Too Afraid to Butt Heads

This is an extension of the last mistake. Many guys are too afraid to disagree with women or to butt head with them directly. Wrong. It’s better to realize you crash and burn than to agree with a woman just for the sake of agreeing with her. If you can’t even be congruent with your own beliefs, how can you expect her to respect and admire you?

10) Not Knowing When to Stop

Finally, you should know when the stop a conversation no matter how great it’s going. Always end up a conversation early before the energy drops too low – unless you are sure you can take things to the next level right away. 

With that said, I’m going to end my article right here. (If you want more, you’ll have to buy my “Smart Dating Course“!)

by Marius P

How to Impress Your Date on the First Date

Do you still recall the time your first date turned out a disaster? How about the second date or maybe the third one? You underwent several first dates with so many people but they don't call you after that first night out. Now, you can stop moping in your room worrying that you'll end up as a spinster or a bachelor. There are many ways on how to keep your date hooked up on you. Below are just some of the things to keep in mind to let that phone ring right after the first rendezvous.

1. Dress for Comfort. The first rule when going out on a date, especially for first timers, is being comfortable. Start off with your dress. Even if it is better to create a good impression on your date by slipping into your slick black dress and stilettos, you won't earn a good mark if you keep on checking out your behind for possible panty lines. Dress for comfort and not just for a good impression. If you really find it awkward to put on something girly from the usual tees and sneakers you wear everyday, forget about the pointy shoes and opt for a flat pair of sandals or shoes for a stylish effect sans the pain in the legs. Before anything else, consider the place where you will be going. It is safer to ask your date where he plans to take you. You wouldn't want to be wearing a chic dress just to watch her favorite basketball game in a stadium, right?

2. Watch Your Manners. There is nothing more disgusting than the sight of your date stuffing food in his mouth one after the other. One major turn off is also a quick case of make up and lipstick retouch in the table. It's not a crime to excuse yourself for a while to go the powder room and do your deed. It isn't that you need to act like a princess when dining out with your date; just be conscious enough to know the do's and don'ts. Laughing your heart out when your date tells something which you find really funny is alright, but not to the point of spewing your food all over the table, more so on your date. Be natural, but be refined.

3. Be Interactive. Bear in mind that the first date is always the initial step in getting to know each other so grab all the opportunity you have to know the other person. Don't just sit there staring at your date the whole evening pretending to listen while you stifle a yawn. Talk. There are no rules or standard topics to talk about on a first date. Topics like embarrassing experience during your grade school or how miserable you were when your cat died are alright as long as you see that your date is interested and doesn't feel awkward with the topic. Seeing that you can talk anything under the sun without being a show off gives an impression that you are a spontaneous person, a plus factor.

4. Have Some Sense of Humor. There was never a study that humor kills so why stop the jokes? Just remember to keep it clean. Keep the ambiance light as much as possible to avoid tension in the air. The only way to avert the anxieties is to let out a few laughs by telling a funny story. Nevertheless, if you are not a born comedian, laughing to some of his jokes and funny stories usually do the trick. Guys love it when you laugh at their jokes.

5. Be Yourself. The top secret to making people like you is to show them the real you. Your date may find your boyish antics weird but he may find it cute thinking that you're a cowboy who can ride with his jokes, activities and someone he can tag along with the guys later.

6. Relax. Butterflies in the stomach, mice running in your heart and the nauseous feeling are normal when going on a first date with someone. However, if you do not loosen up, the worse case that could happen is you won't be able to say any sane thing to your date. Relax and remind yourself that you are on a date to enjoy, not to be stressed.

7. Be Appreciative. Before the night ends, take time to thank your date for spending time with you. You don't have fret, a kiss on a first date is not a must. On the other hand, if you really enjoyed the evening, a peck on the cheek is just fine to show your appreciation followed up by a short text message or phone call later to thank him again for the wonderful night.

Why Momentum Is So Important In Getting Dates

If a girl tries to reschedule the first date, you are looking at something that could kill the interaction. (If she reschedules on a date well after you had sex with her, then it’s usually not a big deal.)

The time between getting her number and seeing her again is when most girls flake, so it’s important you keep that time to under one week. You call within a couple days of meeting her and schedule a date for a couple days after that. If too much time passes until she sees you again, momentum is lost and the interaction loses importance in her mind.

The reason: if she meets a new guy and doesn’t see him for over a week and doesn’t feel any discomfort, how will she come to the realization that it’s important to see him?

If a girl tries to cancel the first date, and you make it easy for her to do so, there’s a risk that date one will never occur. When dealing with a girl’s attempt to cancel, the main idea is to not let her off the hook so easily. Make it uncomfortable for her so there is tension that she attempts to relieve, either by canceling her cancellation or by wanting to quickly reschedule.

Girls usually cancel on the same day of the date through text or phone. If she calls you on the day of the date, let her leave a message by not picking up your phone. Do not respond to her until the very last minute, where she worries that you will actually show up to the date or that you were going to stand her up.

For example if you set a date at 8PM and she cancels at 5, do not call her until 7:15-7:30. The extra time also allows you to think about the best way to respond.

A few months ago I had a first date with a girl I met at a dive bar. It was set at 8:30 but I got a text message in the afternoon from her saying she is not feeling well and needs to cancel. I didn’t respond and went on with my day. I came home, ate dinner, and then got a call from her an hour before the date was supposed to happen. She asked if I received her text message and I said yes, that I was right about to call her. She said that she feels a little bit better and can go out as planned.

In some cases doing NOTHING actually keeps the date on schedule. Who would have thought that?

It’s better to go out with a sick girl or one that is less than 100% ready to have sex because it at least keeps the interaction going. Remember, the more time that passes before the first date, the less important you become.

I took this girl out, did some very light kissing at the end, and then banged her on the next date. Now if I responded to her text message before she felt “better,” the date wouldn’t have happened and it’s possible I may not have gotten the bang.

At the very least, delaying your response stirs up some worry and places you in her mind for a much longer time. I don’t know what a girl is thinking when she is trying to cancel a date, but I think it’s possible that your delayed response would make her think, “Maybe I’m making a mistake.” At best, like in my personal example above, doing absolutely nothing will keep you on the right track.

I wouldn’t have been able to figure out the best way to deal with girls canceling dates unless I got A LOT of dates, but in all of high school and college I got a grand total of two dates. And nothing happened on either date. I was clueless AND sexless.

I made a commitment to solve this problem with a fresh start after college, and proceeded to figure out the best ways to meet girls, talk to them, and get dates. I used to never get dates, but I became a guy who would view a date just as another experiment to figure out women. Imagine how long a way I came.

Now I worry about things other than girls, like the meaning of life and which country I want to visit next.

General Dating Rules For Men

You are a guy who is always in a serious relationship. You are a guy who hasn't dated in years. Or maybe you're a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation, there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These conventions even the playing field, preparing you for success while protected your emotions. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But you won't be outgunned if you properly prepare for the battle.

1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes, even if you last checked your Nikes in 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don't just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. Buy a nice tailored suit, there is no excuse not to. If you can't take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her?

2. Sort out your hygiene and styling. Go down to the barbers and clean up your hair, getting it styled if possible. If you don't have much hair, still get down to the salon, maybe get your head shaved. Or just get a regular shave, a professional shave will leave your face looking and feeling great. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine so you will always smell fresh and clean. Women appreciate it.

3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life. Coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (though I'd give it a go, I love skateboarding). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. If possible try and look like you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself, and if you already do, then you are on the right track. But know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future plans because women will ask questions about your prospects. Even if they pretend it isn't important, it is.

4. Be in the know. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity, and laziness is no excuse for sounding dumb. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world we live in. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously. If you don't, make plans to travel and tell her about it. Proving you are willing and able to plan vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess's heart. If you spend all your time boozing with the boys, it's time to take a step back and pick up some more productive habits. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, especially if you take her to get cocktails at a nice lounge, but give them the impression that you live there will get you absolutely nowhere fast.

6. Keep your super fan status in check. If you love your sports and enjoying watch the game with your buddies, fine. If sport is a religion and you have your favorite player's number tattooed on your back, you may have a problem. If you are serious about dating, rattling off baseball stats, ranting about unfair umpires and constantly check the score will put them off in record time. To the uninitiated, sports are completely boring, and many women interpret the obsession as a total lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sports too, and rooting for the same team is great, but don't make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex, you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams, there is nothing sexier than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman.

10. Read up on manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant. Know about fashion, jewelry and flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you'll be on the right path.

11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don't turn into a one-man circus. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her even more.

12. Give up smoking. Now.

13. Learn to dance even if you have two left feet. Women love to dance and it puts you two in close contact. It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world's worst dancer, I don't care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. Try joining salsa and ballroom classes. You don't need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.

6 Topics for “Attractive “Conversation with Women

Whenever men seem to get to the point in a conversation with a woman where it reaches an awkward silence – something that anyone who has time in the dating world knows, happens quite often – they always resort to the same style of conversation: Rapid-fire interrogation. These quick questions about the woman’s life (“What school did you go to?”, “Where are you from?”, “What do you do?”) never lead anywhere, usually causing the woman to be bored and looking for the next topic of conversation.

Instead of falling into that trap when talking to women, here are 6 different conversation topics you can use to keep the awkward silences to a minimum while keeping the excitement of the conversation to a maximum.

1. Speak your passions

More than anything else, pushing a conversation topic in the direction of your own passion is the best way to keep a conversation going. Instead of thinking too much about trying to maintain the conversation, by talking about your own passions you can just begin to have fun and show your excitement about the topic at hand. This will not only show your own intelligence – since you’re talking about your passion, you’ll automatically know about it – but also give the woman a glimpse into your own emotion and excitement. Women are always looking for this in a man.

In the same way, if the woman begins talking about her own passion, ask her about it even if it’s not your own passion. This will allow her to feel excited while talking to you (something that is never a bad thing) and give her a chance to talk about herself, offering clues as to her personality that you can come back to later on in the conversation.

2. Observe your surroundings

Something I always enjoy doing when I’m talking to a woman at a bar is observing the surrounding people with her and making stories about everyone. This will not only show your creative side, but also allow you to get a grasp of her sense of humor, something that will help with future conversations later on in the night.

3. Your youth

Childhood is a time that stays with everyone forever and something we all can relate to, so speaking about your own experiences at a child not only allows her a window into your own soul, but also gives her a chance to relate with some of her own experiences. Feel free to go down this path of reminiscing to open up the topic of conversation.

4. Travel talk

While everyone loves to talk about travel, the important thing to keep in mind here is to get her to talk about travel, not you. You don’t want to look like you’re showing off or some off as someone trying too hard. Instead, use this as an opportunity to learn more about her beliefs, feelings, cultural awareness, etc.

5. Self-analysis

When talking about anything, whether it be your passions or your childhood, it is important to shade any story in a way where you “learn something from it”. This will once again give you an opportunity to show your depth of thought while also opening up various streams of conversation topics by adding an extra layer of subject matter to the conversation at hand.

6. Pop culture

If you need a conversation placeholder – something to keep the conversation from stumbling into an awkward silence without resorting to that interrogation mode – then feel free to discuss about the various pop culture things that are going on at the time. But make sure not to stay on this topic too long, or she will quickly become bored with it. And you.

by Bobby Rio, author of Make Small Talk Sexy

Great tips for a Successful Date

Looking for love can be hard and when you find it, it’s important that you keep onto it for the long haul. You’ll love dating for this matter as you find all about that special partner that you had to look for, for quite some time. The first date can be the hard one, but if you follow some simple steps we can keep looking for love at a minimum and love dating at a all time rate. Keep reading as ladies give you the top ten tips for a successful date. Women you have been looking for love yourselves and if you want to love dating, you can follow these tips too. Most of them are not gender specific.

The first part of getting to love dating is to remember that for this moment in time you are no longer looking for love. Keep the date focused on your partner and even if this is a blind date set up by your annoying mother or your ever comforting friends pretend you love dating. Don’t talk about your exes unless the partner brings up the topic. And don’t talk about other dates you have been on either. We know the other person is looking for love dating also or they wouldn’t be on a date with you, but come on. They may not love dating anymore than you do so the topic of exes and dating might be iffy.

The next part of acting like you love dating is not pressing the issue of sex. This is a time for looking for love, not your next booty call. So, focus on who your date is and what his or her interests are. Not about what makes those special places tingle or when you can get them in bed. We know you have needs, but when you are looking for love, those needs need to come last. When you act as if you like dating, it’s all about making the other partner comfortable.

The next part is joke a bit. The first things many people are looking for when they are looking for love dating are people who have a good sense of humor. Besides the idea that you totally love dating is a pretty funny topic.

The major thing you need to think of when you are looking for love and on that date that you might not love dating is personal hygiene. Even though you might not be thrilled with the idea of dating put some effort into looking nice. Most people base off of appearance first so first impressions is essential.

Keep in mind that they took time out of their busy schedules. They are looking for love, but they don’t have to love dating you. That means, they cleared the time for you so make it seem like you want to be there even if you don’t want to be.

Some of the other tips are plain and simple there are five of them. Be on time and let them know what you look like. Pick a nice quiet spot in a public area for the first date. Do the things that society expects of you. Guys this means holding doors and the works. Don’t talk on your cell phone or look at your watch. Over all, don’t be superficial and you can have a spectacular date.